Secret Santa
by Naraku's Phoenix
Summary: The Host Club participates in Secret Santa before the big Christmas party. Kyoya's a little taken aback with his Santa's choice in gifts, and his only options are to either play along or stay embarrassed. One-shot.


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 **Secret Santa**

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It was a week before Christmas, and Tamaki had the idea for the Host Club members to engage in a Secret Santa gift swap before the big Christmas party. His grandmother had been generous enough to welcome the Host Club and their parents into the main mansion for Christmas dinner and a screening of some Western holiday classics. It was Tamaki's request to keep the event small and specific to the Host Club so none of the customers would be pulled away from their own family plans or take offense at not being invited. In all actuality, though, Tamaki just wanted an intimate setting where he could enjoy Haruhi being dolled up in whatever fluffy, frilly outfit Ranka would force her into.

Kyoya, in particular, was not "over the moon" for their little gift exchange, but seeing as how his father and siblings would attend the Suoh Christmas party at the end of the week, he felt obligated to participate - to make Tamaki happy, if nothing else. Hopefully this Secret Santa thing wouldn't be too troublesome or force him to go out of his way.

"Gather 'round, everyone!" exclaimed Tamaki. The Hosts were currently relaxing at the Hitachiin manor when Tamaki shepherded them into a circle around the coffee table. In his hands he had a glass fish bowl containing folded slips of paper.

"Here's how this is going to work," explained Tamaki, "In this bowl I've written each of our names on a piece of paper. We're going to take turns drawing lots, and whoever's name you've selected will be the recipient of your Secret Santa! We will exchange five gifts each. Starting tomorrow, you secretly deliver one gift everyday up until the day of the Christmas party, and there we will exchange an additional final gift and find out the identities of our Secret Santa!"

"Ooh, this should be fun!" exclaimed Huni, "Don't'cha think, Takashi?"

"Mm," replied Mori.

Haruhi sighed and rolled her eyes while the twins groaned. Kyoya remained looking indifferent.

"Alright, gents!" said Tamaki, "Let the drawing begin!"

After selecting one lot for himself, Tamaki passed the bowl around to the other members in his group. When the bowl reached Kyoya, he avoided shuffling the remaining papers as everyone else seemed to do, instead favoring to just pick the one that laid on top. He unfolded it and read the name, ' _Haruhi.'_

'At least it's not Tamaki,' he thought.

Once all the lots had been drawn and the bowl emptied, Tamaki explained the final rule.

"Now, since Haruhi obviously can't afford much on a commoner's wages, there will be a ¥600 limit per day per gift."

"Awe," groaned Kaoru, "How can you possibly expect us to find a decent gift for ¥600?"

"Yeah," said Hikaru, "It's impossible."

"Oh, boo hoo," said Haruhi, "Secret Santa doesn't have to be fancy. Just keep it simple and use your imagination."

"Haru-chan's right," said Huni, "This should be fun. I've already got my first gift figured out."

"Ugh, we'll figure something out," replied the twins.

After that, not much was said about the Secret Santa, and the hosts finished the rest of their visit and split ways. On the ride home, Kyoya was silently thinking what he could drop in front of Haruhi that would be appropriate and not offend her. They've known each other for a while, now, so it couldn't hurt to put a little thought into it.

'Ah, got it.'

Before the car reached its destination, Kyoya had his driver pull over near a convenience store. Inside, Kyoya found a pack of mechanical pencils. After the auction incident, he agreed that selling her own pencil without permission or prior knowledge was a bit over the line, but it was making money for the Host Club so he didn't see the harm. He exited the store with his purchase and went home where he had one of the maids wrap and deliver it, the next morning.

When he woke up, Kyoya was pleased it was by his own accord and not an alarm or a phone call. He stretched and went downstairs to his living area where he noticed a small, wrapped box.

'Alright, let's get this over with.'

He slid his finger under the tape and unwrapped his gift. Inside he found a black sleeping mask and a pair of earplugs.

"At least my Secret Santa is taking this seriously," he sighed. It was time to come up with another gift for Fujioka.

He could keep the academia theme going and get her some erasers, next, but when all was said and done he didn't need Tamaki accusing him of taking the easy way out. Let's see…she wants to be a lawyer…she doesn't like water parks, but she likes the ocean…she's a glutton for food…

'Perfect,' thought Kyoya.

He then made himself a reminder to call the Sushi bar in Haruhi's neighborhood and arrange for them to deliver ¥600 worth of fatty tuna.

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On the second day of Secret Santa, Kyoya found another box on his coffee table. He carefully unwrapped it to find a bleached sand dollar with a pink heart glazed in the middle. There was a string tied around it so he could use it as an ornament.

'Well, I suppose this means Huni-senpai is my Secret Santa.'

Kyoya went back to the drawing board for Haruhi. What else was that girl interested in.

'But why not make it interesting.'

Kyoya went to his sister's old room and started rummaging through her closet until he emerged with the box he was looking for. Inside contained a wide variety of Shojo manga that Fuyumi was once smitten with. He didn't bother reading the summaries so he selected a manga with the most outrageous cover art, which was a group of scantily clad men on leashes that were held by a fully dressed business woman in the middle. Without thinking much he flipped through it.

'Yep, there goes my eyesight.'

Kyoya was about to have second thoughts with this gift, but he found joy in making Haruhi squirm when he could. It was a guilty pleasure he'd never admit, and sometimes he pretended to write down an addition to Haruhi's debt just to see the look on her face.

'Hopefully when all is said and done she'll be able to look back and laugh.'

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On day three of Secret Santa, Kyoya hadn't received his next gift until later that evening. Unlike the previous two boxes, this gift was flat and slim. He used scissors to cut the string and carefully tore off the wrapping paper.

He could feel a few of his brain cells die when he observed this rather unexpected present.

The gift was a framed photo of a girl. Her face was hidden in the shadows, but there was no mistaking that the person in the photo was female. She was sitting against the wall in her light pink underwear, and one of her bra straps had fallen over her shoulder.

'My Secret Santa is definitely not Huni-senpai.'

He blushed and slammed the framed photo, face-down. He sat and thought about it for what seemed like a lengthy time.

'Well played, Haruhi,' he thought. To him, it was no coincidence, now, that his third gift was late - Haruhi must have changed her original gift at the last minute so she could play this joke.

'Challenge accepted.'

Kyoya went up to his bedroom to prepare Haruhi's next gift. Lying on his bed, he unbuttoned his shirt, mussed up his hair, and took his glasses off. He played with a few angles on his digital camera before uploading the pictures to his laptop and printing off the best one. He took Haruhi's picture out of the frame and replaced it with his own.

'Your move, Fujioka.'

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For Secret Santa Day 4, Kyoya was actually excited to see what his next gift would be. What would be Haruhi's next course of action, and how would he counter it. He spent the day, indoors, and made a list of potential gifts.

'I can't let her win!'

The fourth gift arrived later that afternoon. There was a shirt box underneath the wrapping and Kyoya held his breath when he started peeling back the layers of white tissue paper. What he saw in the center made him forget how to breathe.

Inside were the pink panties Haruhi had worn in the picture. Kyoya's imagination flirted with a provocative image, which was quashed before his body could react on its own. He had to think of something good to combat her most recent play. She tried to make it awkward, for him, so he was going to make it extra awkward, for her. Rummaging through his nigh stand he fished out a wrapped condom. With it, he included a note that read:

o

 _There was merit in Okinawa._

 _o_

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On the last gift exchange day before the party, Kyoya awoke to his last present. The gift was lightweight and was concealed in an old shoebox. He raised his eyebrows slightly upon opening it, because inside was a pristine bundle of mistletoe. Kyoya grinned.

'She played this game, well.'

He phoned the florist and ordered a single red rose to be delivered.

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The Secret Santa game was over, and the day of Tamaki's Christmas Party had arrived. Kyoya had Haruhi's last gift tucked in an envelope inside of his suit jacket. He was a little nervous now that he'd be able to speak with her about the gifts face-to-face, but he would remember to compose himself in a manner that was consistent with his high society upbringing.

As the Host Club members and their families arrived at the Suoh main mansion the adults split off into their own group, leaving the hosts to gather themselves in the downstairs ballroom. Kyoya saw Haruhi hug Huni-senpai and then hand something to Mori. The three of them smiled and exchanged pleasantries. Kyoya tapped Haruhi on the shoulder.

"Excuse me," he said, "Do you have a moment?"

Haruhi's smile disappeared and was replaced by an expression of uncertainty and hesitation.

"Um, sure," she said.

Kyoya put a hand on her back and led her out of the ballroom into the hallway. Before he had a chance to say something, Haruhi beat him to it.

"Senpai…about the Secret Santa gifts…they were really something." She blushed and Kyoya smiled.

"Ah, yes. My apologies, but I couldn't help myself - you understand. I do have one more gift for you."

"Oh…right." Haruhi swallowed and took a step back. She started fidgeting with the hem on her top.

Kyoya reached into his jacket and produced the envelope. Cautiously, Haruhi accepted it. She opened it and saw and saw a handwritten note.

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 _8 o'clock reservation, next week, at my favorite restaurant._

 _o_

Haruhi looked up from the note, only to find herself locking lips with the Shadow King. Startled, she jumped back and put a hand over her mouth. Kyoya smirked. There was a moment of silence.

"So…," said Kyoya, "Do you have anything for me?"

She reached into her pocket and pulled out the condom he sent her a couple of days ago.

"Sorry, senpai," she said, "I'm not that kind of girl." She narrowed her eyes, put the condom in his pocket, and walked away.

Kyoya stood dumbfounded. He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around to see a butler standing there with an envelope, with his name on it, on a silver tray. He took it, and the butler walked away.

Inside the envelope was a Christmas card with a candy cane attached to it. Kyoya opened the card.

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 _Merry Christmas, Kyoya-senpai._

 _Love, Hikaru_

 _P.S. Got you._

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Naraku's Phoenix: Thank you for reading my spur of the moment Christmas story! I just finished re-reading the manga and re-watching the anime, and it tugs on my heart that there weren't more KyoXHaru moments. I had my fingers crossed for this ship until the end, you guys! Perhaps you'll see another pairing fic from me, in the future. Well, until then, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

If you have time, please check out my other Ouran fan fiction, _What I Want_.


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